What a Leader Do

I’m the type of person who likes to “do.” I volunteer and get my hands dirty, and I speak up when I think there’s indecisive silence. I’ve had a penchant in the past for sharing lots of material with my peers, hopeful they would read the same things and arrive at similar conclusions. I’ve become intentionally selfish for myself of late. I retired from all leadership positions – largely…

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Bloggus Interruptus

We interrupt our regularly scheduled programming to celebrate love. missdansie left for her honeymoon in Germany, of all places, last weekend. Don’t worry, y’all. She’ll return soon enough. (pictured from left to right: missdansie, miggs, and athene)  

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Ghosts of Utopia

My Danish ancestors arrived in Utah dreaming of utopia. The Mormon Church played a more socialist tune back then and attracted followers as discontent with the emerging capitalist order as with traditional Christianity. But what my ancestors found when they arrived was a utopia under siege by theocratic pressure and political instability. Over time, they learned the hard way that utopianism rarely delivers on its promises. I reflect on…

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Toxic Masc4Masc

I was recently directed by a friend to a post in an online poly group where a stranger made transphobic comments. I may write more on that, but the original post warrants exploration first. An admin of the group shared his thoughts on “Toxic Masculinity,” He is a massage therapist who happens to be a bit “woo-woo” for my taste, but has generally been a reserved and polite association…

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Geneva Country

My parents lived in a trailer park in Utah Valley when I was born. I have since spent most my life in Spanish Fork, Springville, Provo, and Orem—cities Mormons built in the space between the Wasatch Mountains and Utah Lake. Some people say, “that’s sad, don’t you want to experience the world.” They phrase it without the inflection in their voice to imply a question, too, as if travel…

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Peach Scones

All extremes of feeling are allied with madness. ― Virginia Woolf, Orlando Have you ever gone crazy for another person? Not head-over-heels smitten twitterpated starstruck young love. No, something… deranged. A passion so strong you’d kill your lover before kissing them. Consumed with mind and heart and soul, no thoughts for anyone else, or anything else. Always imagining being next to them, looking at them, smelling them, listening to…

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“OK, Google, What’s Culture?”

As I drove north over the Point, I shouted at my phone like an angry boss frustrated with an obstinate worker. “OK, Google,” I demanded, “what’s culture?” It heard me over Larkin Poe’s southern blues rock, turned off the music, bleeped its familiar bloop, and answered me in a pleasant female voice that (I could tell, somehow) took no offense over my tone. “Culture is the arts and other…

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Letter to a Toxic Friend

I would be lying if I said I had not rewritten this letter repeatedly. Mulling over and over what I would like to say, balancing it against what you will read. I should have called you out each time I recognized your toxic behavior, rather than waiting to pile it on you now with little more than a “good luck!” I thought I would have an easier time talking to…

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Ambiguous Identities

About three years ago, I went through a divorce that was more like a violent shootout than a pragmatic goodbye. The relationship my wife and I had nurtured over eight years collapsed in a matter of weeks. We went from best friends to worst enemies in the same amount of time we had spent vacationing together in Seattle one summer, drinking wine in bed, watching boats cross the Puget…

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A Rich Backstory

For individuals who live in the margins, on the fringe, or outside of the box, sharing personal details about their lives can lead directly to their destruction. People who assert that everyone has a voice in this “post–civil rights era” are only partially correct. But the volume is still turned down – if not muted – for many people of the world, despite all the avenues available for sharing…

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