When a Prophet Dies

I find it useful to emphasize what’s said over who’s saying it. We live in a society so committed to an individualist ethic that we forget how much our environment influences our behavior. We want people to be responsible for their actions. We don’t want their actions to be the product of their environments. This not only makes it easier to assign blame—and to regulate conduct—it also makes complex…

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Ooh, that smarts.

Pain. It’s not great. It’s broad, complex, and personal. It impacts everyone around us. No one really knows what it is, or how to fix it, or even if we should be fixing it at all. Physical pain often presents itself. There is blood or a scar. But it can also be invisible to all but the bearer. Emotional pain can have a physical expression as well – sobbing…

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The Goodwill Journal

Recently while shopping at the Goodwill Outlet, my friend found a copy of someone’s journal and handed it to me with a smirk. Ten minutes later, standing at the counter, he was surprised to see me purchase it. I haven’t had an opportunity to read the entire thing, but I am catching small glimpses of the thirty-year-old man who began it in 1995. He started journaling because he felt…

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Wisdom, Work, and Warfare

Plato founded his first academy as a sanctuary in honor of Athena the goddess of wisdom. At the time, “sanctuary” implied sacred space where both mentors and apprentices could establish the spiritual grounding necessary for the mundane practice of their disciplines. Today we might describe “sanctuary” as a “small safe space in a troubling world, an oasis in a vast desert, or an island in a stormy sea.” But…

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Perfectly Out of Place

I “don’t belong” to this place, and it doesn’t recognize my existence. Or rather… it doesn’t pay heed to my life and my experience. There are people in this place that look like they are being acknowledged and respected. It was designed for them somehow. They are among their peers and they engage in all the distractions of this place without any fear of getting lost, caught, or facing…

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who I am and why I’m here (ferox)

I am a human, so far as I know. I was raised rurally. Religiously. To value learning, despite my birth family rejecting what that education brought to me. I am music. Queer. Trans. Poly. Punny. I act far more confident than I feel. I live to listen to laughter – my own and others’. I am full of shadows. I am here to share my heart and my mind….

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April showers bring May flowers

Lately, the question of who I am has been hard for me to contend with. Starting this project has forced me to recognize how duality exists in everything I am. I am all of the voices in my head, and it is unnecessary for me to single out one of them as my full identity. There is fluidity in who I am and how I love myself. To me…

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Preludes and Nocturnes

I took my eyes off the road to glance at my phone and skip a song when traffic skidded to a halt. I swerved left, caught the bumper of the truck in front of me, and pulled to the shoulder. The loud crunch of detuned guitars and painful wails started blaring from my speakers. Hey you, hey you, devil’s little sister, listening to your twisted transistor. The other driver…

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Lucenti Humanifesto

We were raised to believe witchcraft was not only real but also part of a deliberate effort by the devil to lead us astray. Our parents claimed that Jay’s Journal — which told of one Utah teenager’s descent into “satanic paganism” — was an actual autobiography. Most of us were encouraged to read it as a manual for how to avoid the devil’s snare. Some of us saw through…

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