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Just Deserts

28-Feb
Idaho
23:50pm
Wind

I think my mum is probably not going to live for too much longer. She recently had another sudden health issue and she can’t slow down. Because no one in her day-to-day life is going to step up and actually take care of her. Some other family came, her parents and brother, but it sounds like they were just as much work as her regularly scheduled programming.

I came up to visit and to help her out for a couple of days. I don’t much interact with or visit family. A partner helped convince me I should make the trip. I’ve felt little more than sad indifference since arriving. And based on her behavior thus far, I don’t think she’s made the changes necessary to prolong her life. She certainly hasn’t rested.

Her stresses are many. Still providing care for her final child – now an adult – who refuses both work and school. Care for a relative that requires consistent attention and discipline. Care for her spouse who works a physical job, but consistently leaves every aspect of home and house maintenance to her, disappearing to a bed and TV nightly.

I have an urge to try to convince her of the need for a drastic change; to impress into service those living in the house to take the load from her shoulders. I also have the urge to get in the car without a word and leave and never come back. I’m trying to find a balance point healthy for me and not overbearing for her. I don’t know where that will take me over the next few days. I hope it’s enough, because I know that I probably don’t have much to give.

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