All Posts By: ferox

Radical Heresy Final Part

Seek the truth and run from those who claim to have found it.
André Gide

All the religious and historical education I’ve encountered has brought me to the firm conclusion that High Churches are far more like primary schools than they purport. They certainly provide a groundwork for the practice of the initial levels of spirituality, and give structure and organization to folks who share some similar beliefs or live near each other. This can somewhat be correlated when the dogma of the church is broken down into its building blocks – many of them teach essentially the same core lessons.

I think for many, at a time that is right, a desire to forge an individual path, to “level up,” is born. Perhaps for many humans, the practice of “lower” level spirituality lasts their entire lifetime. But as I’ve alluded to in prior posts, many others catch on to the scent of their own path seemingly by instinct and realize they do not need these churches to further a relationship with divinity.

The quote “I like your Christ, but not your Christians” tortured me when I was younger because I had been told by “learned” religious leaders that if I did not walk the halls of their buildings and pay my percentage to their coffers, I would be cut off from all that is sacred. It sounded awful, and after years of effort, their methods brought my heart no peace. Instead, it happened at odd times, and in strange places. I found it when I communed with my fellow humans, when I walked the stone and dirt and trees, when I heard large birds call from the dark or saw a creature dart back into its sanctuary.

For me, High Church taught me something that seemed very clear: I should reject things that were not “Christ-like” outright and without hesitation. Yet I did not see it being practiced around me. They taught me to avoid sin, and how love and service to others are some of the few good things (well, approved methods of love and service, of course). The HC taught me I cannot personally make a call about someone else’s path or their salvation. I can model the behaviors approved by the divine, but I cannot and should not force others to behave like me (unless I coerce them with shame). The HC taught me the answers were inside of me and that I needed to commune with their God in order to confirm the things they taught.

I spoke to my leaders and family about how I had read all their books and made my own decisions about their path: I was leaving their High Church to forge my own way. I was met with anger and threats of ostracism. I was supposedly not old or wise enough to make my own decisions, and if I did come to the right conclusion (to do as they demanded in their halls), I would fail my final eternal test. I would be forever disconnected from the divine. And still I left. I like to think I passed a more important test for my own personal spiritual path.

These High Churches did not practice the most basic lessons they were supposed to be teaching every week. They had barricaded themselves away from getting in touch with true divinity. They told me I would find nothing but pain and suffering for my decisions, and they were so wrong.

I never felt this capable, happy, independent, and spiritually connected to the world before I chose to leave. My world is not without struggle, but I don’t need towering structures and dusty manuscripts to tell me how to commune. I find spiritual lessons in the people around me and I make my own ritual and rite amongst the trees and under the stars.

Radical Heresy Part 2

I wrote last time about modern heresy in lived experiences outside “the norm” and the methods of torture utilized to enforce conformity in the Middle Ages. Now I’d like to speak on U.S. culture but more specifically on my experience in religious-heavy Utah. I have lived on the fringes of this community for most of my adult life. I am currently planning my escape for places that feel more…

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Radical Heresy Part 1

In the Middle Ages, it was considered appropriate and absolutely necessary to physically torture heresy out of individuals who did not conform to the local divine standards. The eternal well-being of these individuals was considered to be at risk. Heresy, these Inquisitors thought, was like a virus spreading through populations – akin perhaps to what athene referred to in their last post. The world has updated the torture standard…

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Listen to Lucenti Live Episode 2

We’re still making a podcast! Find the transcript of the episode here. In this episode, we discussed Burning Man and its 11 Principles, with a focus on the newest one: Consent! Footnotes: What is Burning Man? Their yearly timeline. The Ten Principles of Burning Man. The background for “get my goat.” A really cool organization studying drugs. Far out, man. Burning Man org bought Fly Ranch property. More on…

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Home is in the Desert

I am excited to go back home. I want to listen to music as dust sands down my every follicle and sweat drips from my pores. I want to hold her hand while we skip to our next adventure. I want to find that boy and offer him a kiss. I want to see the lights move around me. I want to meet up with friends new and old…

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Introducing Lucenti for Listening! Episode 1: Community

We made a podcast! Find the transcript of our conversation here. In this episode, we discussed who we are, mutual aid, communities of our past (quasi-monastic, y’all), their evolution, building community for the sake of community, medicating and self-medicating, survival/homesteading skills, cynicism, crafting change in our world, connecting/socializing while sober, disconnecting from ego. So..just a few things! Footnotes: – What is informed consent? – More on Mutual Aid Societies. Also some…

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Fire and Ice, Ice, Baby – Part One

The fire alarm was going off, but its shrill cry had been relegated to the background of my senses. Thick smoke had filled the room, making it impossible to see or breathe, so I had to crouch down. The lights in the apartment had failed, and I was scrounging around in the dark of the bedroom trying desperately to find my phone. As I brought it up and opened…

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What a Leader Do

I’m the type of person who likes to “do.” I volunteer and get my hands dirty, and I speak up when I think there’s indecisive silence. I’ve had a penchant in the past for sharing lots of material with my peers, hopeful they would read the same things and arrive at similar conclusions. I’ve become intentionally selfish for myself of late. I retired from all leadership positions – largely…

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Peach Scones

All extremes of feeling are allied with madness. ― Virginia Woolf, Orlando Have you ever gone crazy for another person? Not head-over-heels smitten twitterpated starstruck young love. No, something… deranged. A passion so strong you’d kill your lover before kissing them. Consumed with mind and heart and soul, no thoughts for anyone else, or anything else. Always imagining being next to them, looking at them, smelling them, listening to…

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